Tuesday, April 30, 2013

As I sit Here

Walking is extremely painful.  Saturday I stepped on a rusty nail as I was clearing debris.  The neighborhood kids came over and helped us dismantle our old, rickety, deck.  It took six teens two hours to take seventy-five percent of it apart.  The rim and floor joists are bolted so we need to borrow a hefty wrench or something so we can finish.

Now as I look at the pictures I'm wondering how sturdy the underlying structure is.  Of course it poured cats and dogs all day yesterday so the back yard is a mess.  Before we go further I'll have a look to determine if we should rebuild with sturdier construction or continue demolition.

I didn't notice when the nail went it my foot.  I was pulling on some boards and stepped back.  When I lifted my food another board came with it.  I didn't panic.  I did wonder if it would hurt when I pulled it 
 out.  It started to hurt once I got inside.  I went inside immediately in case you're wondering.  So I got to wondering about lock jaw.  What part of 2003 did I have that tetanus shot?  Do they say ten years but you actually have eleven?  I wonder if these antibiotics I'm taking for that abscessed tooth will help.  Boy my foot hurts.  Darn, all the first aid stuff is in the Apocalypse kit, yes we have such.  I can think and do at the same time so I'm sitting on the side of the tub rinsing my foot with warm water.  After I'm sure that all is clean that's getting clean I apply alcohol,

 which didn't sting, and neosporen.  Next came a band aid and one of those antibiotics washed down with diet Big K. Walking is excruciating, especially on hard surfaces.  It is better if I wear slippers or walk on carpet but walking on bare floors feels like there's a ball bearing under foot.  I would have stayed home from church Sunday but Andrea was giving a talk.  I wore my slippers and nobody said anything.  After church I watched you tube videos about photography.  I came away  
with lots of ideas.  One, I plan to start very soon.  That one is only show my best work.  I snapped these for an estimate for a junk removal estimate.  No matter how much I wanted you to see the demolition I should have touched them up.  I just set the camera to it's lowest quality, program, and shot.  I learned how to make a watermark too, and made some.  Now, Maybe, I'll put more photos on Facebook, Probably not,


facebook has too many photos already.  If The Beazler becomes popular I'll learn enough HTML so weird things won't happen like it did in this blog.  

So I set myself up at the computer this morning.  I call the health deparment to find out when they give immunizations.  I call MARTA to book the para transit van and I sit here.  I need to clean but I can't because of my foot.  I'm glad I still have photos and videos I can edit.

So tell me how long does it take before it doesn't hurt to walk?  I remind myself how older people used to say, "We stepped on rusty nails all the time and nothing happened.  We didn't have any tetanus shots."  Well I hope they're right.  I just need something to worry about until I get mine or the pain goes away. 

Life Dreams

 
My sister posted this video on Facebook.  How many of us would name the same thing we're doing now?  Unfortunately, not many.  Life gets in the way;  keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table takes president over pursuing our passions.
For the past week Herman Cain has been talking about pursuing your passion.  He mentioned an article he read that said how people can't pursue their passions because passion and practicality seldom mix. 
People in the limelight say they are doing what they love.  Rush Limbaugh said he knew he wanted to be on the radio since he was a child.  Julia Child wanted to learn French cookery and look at what she achieved.  LeBron James enjoyed playing basketball and now he's in the NBA.  But what about the rest of us?
Beazle always wanted to open a restaurant.  I know she tried once but got caught up in bureaucratic red tape.  I was quite young so I don't know the details.  I know she rented a building and fixtures; then boom, it didn't happen.
My sister loves to write poetry.  She even got a few books published.  She gets a royalty check now and then but not enough to live on.  Despite the fact she has a Ph.D. in Creative Writing, she is back in school getting a degree in Social Work.  
Buy Protocol For Touch 

Buy Blessings And Inclemencies








Buy Two Rooms





I went to school with a guy that has for the most part followed his dream.  At school he wanted to be a concert pianist.  He did all the right things; practiced diligently, went to a prestigious music college, Indiana University Jacobs School of Music in Bloomington, Indiana, and performed when and where he could.  He put that dream aside to produce contemporary popular music.  Presently he is on tour with two of the artists he produces. His website tells all about him and the tour.  I think he is enjoying contemporary music producing but it seems his passion is still classical music.  A few years ago he got into Juilliard.  I don't know if he got a degree from there though.  Bottom line he is still doing the contemporary music production.   Is he doing what he loves?  I think so.

  Buy Rod's latest album.



Then there's me.  I have the luxury of being a stock photographer.  I love photography but don't have the luxury of much travel.  I'm not much of a people person so events have a good chance of being out as well.  However I am considering shooting a few events to see how it goes.  Shooting stock, I can shoot anything and everything.  There's no telling what someone will want and this has been proven in some of my sales.  As I've said before, nobody is going to hire me so I hired myself.  I've started referring to myself as a photographer and calling Blind as Eye Look my business.  Do I make enough to live on?  No.  Will I ever make enough to live on?  Probably not.  Will I make enough to supplement my income?  Not yet, but quite possibly.  See my ever changing portfolio on Pond5.
 
One of my friends from North Carolina called me last night.  We had a long conversation along these same lines.  She is living in a small town where she feels she has no support.  Recently she had som serious health issues and she couldn't get anyone to help her out.  She was not contegious.  The cost of living is quite reasonable and that is one of the things she likes about living there.  She has a great doctor and her son will be in braces for a long time still.  My friend wants to move back to the Metro Atlanta area where she has family and friends.  the cost of living is much higher and she's afraid once her bills are paid there will be nothing left for anything else.  If money were no object she'd move in a heartbeat and work out the medical situation later.  Because money is a big object her decision is daunting.  Pros and cons are about even/ which is more important, peace of mind of financial stability, quality of life or being near friends and family?  She is having a hard time deciding whether to move or to stay put.  

Her serious medical conditions won't allow her to seek regular employment.  Some days she's just fine and could get up and go to work.  Other days she just can't; she's too weak and in too much pain.  She suppliments her income by selling party plan items.  She believes in the products and thinks she can turn it into a viable income producer.  You can order her products online as well.

So, here are my questions for you.  What would you do if money were no object?  Are you doing what you love?  If so, part time or full time.  If no, why not?  Do you know many people who ARE doing what they love?  My guess will be that most are doing what it takes to make ends meet and have a hobby doing what they enjoy.  Sad but true.  

Mainstreaming; I'm Against It

My view on mainstreaming of special needs,  especially blind,school children is a big mistake.  It is a feel good, politically correct movement that is not in the best interest of the student's education.  I am a graduate of the Arkansas School for the Blind in the 1979.  Beazle said it best, "They really learn 'em at the blind school".  It was obvious that my sister and I had a more rigorous education than our neighborhood friends. 

Our school was small so the choice of classes was limited.  We did have enthusiastic, dedicated, and caring teachers.  I can remember stories about most of my teachers.  These were the days before we knew mercury was dangerous if not contained.  People knew it was poisonous if injected but not if touched.  Our science teacher told how she taught an object lesson about the density of mercury to a class a few years ago.  She sent this little bitty ninety pound girl to the basement to, "Bring me that gallon of mercury".  The little bitty girl leaves and comes back a few minutes later explaining, "I can pick it up."  The teacher then taught how liquid mercury is 30 times as heavy is water.  A gallon of water weighs 8 pounds so a gallon of liquid mercury ways 240 pounds.  She went on to explain that most people can't lift more than they weigh.  She got some mercury from somewhere because we got to play with the little balls it forms when let loose.

I was forced to learn to touch type.  Beginning typing was a sixth grade course.  The teacher told us to choose a seat.  I ended up with a typewriter with no letters printed on the keys.  All the seats were taken so I was stuck.

I learned to play the piano, trumpet and the clarinet.  Any fourth grader who wanted to take piano lessons could start.  I took piano lessons for eight years.  Because I had to memorize the music I can't play much of anything now.  I started out in beginning band in fifth grade with the trumpet.  By sixth grade I didn't have enough wind to play the high notes so I was switched to the clarinet. 

I was Cassius in Julius Caesar and one of the witches in Macbeth.  Everyone loved the English teacher and I was sad when I heard she had passed away.  In fact many of my teachers have died.  The news always saddens me.  The last teacher I heard about passing with the meanest teacher at school.  It was still sad.  My sister had her but I never did.  Our Spanish class disrupted other classes at Christmas time by carolling in Spanish.  At the end of Spanishii we inflicted Snow White in Spanish on the entire student body. 

Math was my worst subject so I ended my high school math career with algebra.  The teacher was after me for not showing my work.  She'd ask how I got my answer.  I had no idea.  If the answer was right I'd tell her I don't know how I got it.  If the answer was wrong, same answer.  She'd say she couldn't help me if I didn't show my work.  I'd get hopelessly lost if I tried to work it out step by step.  I got my C- and was glad of it.  I said no way to geometry so trigonometry was out of the question.  Thank goodness less math was needed to graduate back then.

Our Civics teacher wanted to take us to see the legislature in session.  The principal thought it was a good idea so the whole high school ended up going.  Like in all schools we struggled to stay awake in history class. Also like everywhere, Geography was a seventh grade course.  We had maps that were huge puzzles that came apart by state and country.  So we didn't just hear Italy is shaped like a boot, we got to examine the Italy piece.  We were graded on naming the state or country, its capitol, and putting it back in the right place. 

In Home Economics we learned to coos and sew.  We also learned things I hear people on the radio saying they don't teach in school.  We learned to budget, write checks, fill out a job application, and do a 1040A.

Sometimes PE was fun, sometimes I didn't like it.  I enjoyed square dancing, folk dancing, and  volleyball.  Volleyball was modified because few of us could hit the ball while it was in the air so we let it bounce.  If you could see so well we wondered why you were there, you  had to play the regular way.  If you saw like the all print student you'd get one bounce.  If you used both print and braille like me you got three bounces.  If you were totally blind the ball could bounce until it started to roll.  I don't know how the teacher kept up with how many bounces we got before the other team got the point.  I didn't like swimming, running track, or doing exercises. 

Everyone was expected to perform at grade level or they were not promoted.  Most students who transferred to the Arkansas School for the Blind from regular public school were put back a grade or two  because they weren't performing at grade level. 

Once or month or so they had what they called Social adjustment classes.  There we learned things most people learn at home.  How to play cards, dominos, board games.  How to be assertive, not aggressive, which fork to use, how to tip for good and bad service, How to introduce yourself and shake hands.  They also made us aware of any blindisms we may have had.  One that I still struggle with is remember to look at a person when they are talking to me.  Something across the room may catch my attention and I'll want to look at it.  I'm thinking I can hear the speaker just fine, I'll take a look at that thing that caught my attention.  Normally sighted people find that sort of thing off putting.  Some partically sighted people look at the light source instead of in the direction of the speaker.  Some blind people rock back and forth as a matter or course if they don't make a conscience effort not to do so.

Independence was also stressed.  We were taught how to get around the area the school was located.  We were taught to get around downtown.  We were taught how to ride the bus.  Every year the shriners took the whole school to the state fair.  If you were in grades K-3 you had to stay with a group of students with a teacher.  When you made it to fourth grade you were required to go with at least one other student, no teacher.  We'd get off the bus by the bleachers and the principal or somebody would say meet back here at whatever time for lunch.  Off we'd go until lunchtime.  Same thing after lunch, meet back her at whatever time to go back.  they never had to go find somebody.

I got a glimpse of mainstreaming in one of the school districts in Pine Bluff, Arkansas.  I was unimpressed to say the least.  I was a substitute teacher so I ended up being assigned to all three different special needs situations.  At least one defeats the purpose the mainstream advocates are trying for. Fourth, fifth, and sixth grade special needs students were warehoused in a classroom together.  They attended no classes with the other students.  The classroom was assigned two aids and one teacher.  I substituted for one of the aids first.  The other aid and I taught the class while the teacher did nothing.  Another time just the teacher and I were there.  I tried to teach the students but they were bored and the teacher was no help.  the curriculum was far below grade level; I think that is why they were so bored and restless.  the teacher acted as if one student was a throw away student because, "His daddy won't put him on riddilen."  I'm no expert but I think all he needed was a challenge.  At the time my youngest was in either kindergarten or first grade and she had surpassed the reading material these students were given.  It was truly heartbreaking.

The next group of special needs students had a bit more interaction with the regular class.  The regular class sat at desks with the teacher in front.  The special needs students sat together at a table at one side of the classroom.  I sat with them and explained anything they didn't understand in math, had them read aloud softly, and checked their workbooks.  These students were given the same assignments as the other students in the classroom.  Academically I think this was the best model if mainstreaming is insisted upon. 

I am not in favor of the third model.  Special needs students were mixed in with the regular class but went to the resource teacher for some subjects.  Sounds good?  It does look good on principle put throw in poor planning and I don't think it worked.  Here I am substituting in a fourth grade classroom.  I give the students thier math assignment.  All the students, except one, start working.  I ask the student why he isn't doing his work.  "I go to resource for math," he tells me.  The bell rings and it's time for spelling.  This student who didn't do math heads for the door.  "Were are you going?" I ask.  "Resource for math."  Now why couldn't they scheduled him to go to math resource while his class was doing math? 

How were these students assigned to each of these special education models?  Was it based on academic ability or intelligence?  No, it was based on the school.  the three models I described were at three different schools.  None of the schools had a combination of these models.

Those who believe it is good for both special needs and regular students to mix; where is the mixture in the first model.  At lunch, before the first bell, while changing classes, or waiting for the bus or to be picked up?  No.  This particular school district was strict on all students.  Upon arrival all students were herded into the cafeteria where they sat with their class a weren't allowed to talk or play.  Same at lunch and when waiting for the bus or to be picked up.  Class changes were also done silently.  this leave twenty to thirty minutes after lunch for the students to mingle.  I didn't have lunch duty when I was at the school with the first model so I don't know if the special needs and regular kids played together.  I noticed one special needs student in the second model socializing with other students.

I too believe that everyone should participate in the community.  I just don't think fundamentals of education should be sacrificed.  Mainstreaming may be a viable option for high schoolers but not elementary school students.  All students need to learn to read, do basic math, general geography and history, and the rules of spelling.  I believe it would take to much time an money to teach certain subjects to a few scattered students.  I'll use the maps as an example.  To teach a map of Europe to a blind student requires a map the student can examine, possible take apart to know the shape and location of each country.  It should also have tactile features to show mountains and bodies of water.  In a room full or seeing students all the teacher has to do is pull down the map and explain the legend.  The students can quickly see all the information depicted on the map.

I had more freedom at school than I had at home.  School is where I learned to cross the street and take the bus.  I stayed at school during the week and went home on the weekends so I had the best of both worlds.  My sister and I played with neighborhood kids at home.  We could jump rope with the best of them.  We could run in, front door or back door, jump while chanting, and run out.  We were allowed to walk to the neighborhood Mom and Pop store on our side of a busy street. with other kids.  There was this "day student" who had very fearful parents.  They objected to everything other than academics the school tried to teach their daughter.   Today her father has passed away and her mother is in failing health.  This particular girl always lived with her parents.  We could come to her house but when we started getting our own apartments she never came to ours.  She went on the choir trip with us one year but her mother was one of the chaperones that year.  I think her parents meant well but ultimately they did her a great disservice.  This girl would have benefited from professionals once removed from the emotions of having a blind child. 

I also believe there should be special schools for each disability that require special  techniques.  Blind students and deaf students should go to different schools.  Likewise, so should students who are slow.  These three conditions require different teaching methods and shouldn't be taught together.

Mainstream at church, in the neighborhood, on the ball field, in the workplace, at your clubs, but not in elementary and middle school.  I believe it's a big mistake.  These days schools are failing too many students in general.  Lets not set up our special needs students up for failure from the beginning.   If I had a special needs child I would not start him or her out mainstreamed in a regular public school.  That student would attend a special school at least until high school.  At that point I'd reevaluate and decide, but not before ninth grade. 






Out of the Norm

Those of us who live out of the norm are often assumed by others to have something lacking in the brains department.  Sometimes people considered "normal" don't believe what we tell them, are amazed if we accomplish the simplest task, talk down to us, or assume we need help.  How we are treated by others is a source of amusement for us.  I hope you will get a chuckle from these stories as well as learn a little bit about those of us who live out of the norm.

Beazle had a mild stroke when she was seventy-eight.  Our only clues were she didn't make any sense when she talked.  Her words were intelligible but the order was unrelated and random.  She , a big CNN fan and votes every time the polls open, couldn't name the president of the United States.  To this day she won't believe she had a stoke.  Her doctor showed her some sort of x-ray of her brain and compared it to a brain that had not had a stroke.  "I didn't have a stroke.  That's not my brain.  Nobody's brain looks like that," Beazle said to support her position. 

Mom's doctors thought she was worse off than she was.  My sister told me Mom's doctor had called her because Mom had said she goes to work six days a week, cooks for herself, and does her own yard work.  My sister confirmed these statements as true.  Combine the truth with Beazles unique personality and I guess a normal person will shake his or her head.  Mom's doctor didn't want to release her from the hospital until my sister got there.  They didn't want Mom to be at home alone.  I wonder what the doctor thought when this legally blind woman show up.

Before Mom was released from the hospital she would walk the halls of the hospital.  "They won't let me go because they need the money.  I've seen all these empty rooms around here."

The main lasting effect of Beazle's stroke is she has trouble remembering names of things.  One day while she was still in the hospital she was telling me what she had for breakfast, "I had,  ,  ,  ,  ,  your dad doesn't like 'em."

I got a scolding for refusing to read Seventeen magazine to my uncle.  There I sat on the couch, a teenager, reading Seventeen in braille.  My uncle was visiting and sees me reading braille.  He asked me what I was reading and I told him.  He actually asked me to read it aloud to him.  I refused.  What could there possibly be in Seventeen that would interest a grown man?  We ask kindergarteners to read so we can praise their efforts.  People ask teens to read in class, in Bible study, instructions while the other person does something, or if the other person's eyes are bad.  Adults don't as teens to read Seventeen to them unless it's in braille and they want to marvel at the fact the teen can read braille.  I learned to read braille in kindergarten, the same grade my cousins learned to read.  So I was upset when he asked me to read something to him that he would normally have no interest in whatsoever. 

Andrea's youth group was amazed at how much she knew about cooking.  They were making cakes for an auction to raise money for camp.  Andrea was a fast and efficient baker.  "Did your mom teach you how to cook before she went blind?"  Andrea baffled them by explaining that I was born blind.  Yes, I taught her to cook.  I'm also planning to teach her to sew simple garments.

I got so exasperated at one of the eye doctors at Grady Memorial Hospital.  The pressure in my left eye was really high, over forty.  He slowly and quietly explained, "I truly believe the reason you're having trouble with your left eye is because the pressure is high.  The fluid isn't draining properly and that builds up pressure and high pressure damages your optic nerve."  Call me impatient but I wanted to scream, "that's a simplified definition of glaucoma.  I've had glaucoma for a year and a half now.  Don't you think I'd know what you just told me at this stage of the game?  Just because I'm poor and not a doctor doesn't mean I'm incapable of learning about my condition in a year and a half.."  Instead I just said, "y  e  a  h," as if I wanted him to go on with some new information.  I do have to give credit where it's due though.  So far that particular doctor is the only one that has been able to prescribe a combination of drops to bring down and keep down the pressure in my left eye.  Genius must be arrogant. 

Even when my girls were very young some well meaning soul would tell them, "Take care of your mama".  Sometimes the child would barely be out of the stroller.  How do these people think a toddler is going to take care of Mama?  My toddlers are just like yours.  They have the same skills and impulses.  As my girls grew older they were better at some things than the average child their age but I thing most of that was intuitive to them or part of thier environment away from me.  Merritt could put her assemble required toys together at age four.  But she later majored in architecture.  But Merritt is a terrible cook.  Need something done: painted, unloaded, cooked from scratch without a recipe, then Holiday is the one you want.  Andrea spent lots of time with neighbors that always had a project going.  Need something fixed or installed, Andrea is the one to call.  I told them if they went into business together, they'd make a mint.

Does anyone ever outgrow the new for an agency that teaches blind people how to live?  Seems like blind Georgians never do.  I've been asked by other blind Georgians as well as doctors.  Basically they ask if I've availed myself of services at the Center for the Visually Impaired.  At first I'd ask, "What do they teach?"  People's reply would be along the lines of they teach you how to cook, count money, catch the bus, read Braille, etc.   Services such as those are what people who recently lost their sight need.  People who have been blind all their lives, and especially those who went to the Arkansas School for the Blind learned to do those kinds of things as a matter of course as part of their education. 

Please remember, the brain doesn't go when a part of the body goes.  Your body can go independently of your brain or the other way around.. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Don't Tell Me Not to Speculate

After the Boston Marathon bombings news commentators' mantra was, "We can't speculate," about who's responsible.  This pussy footing around the facts makes me sick.  I said at the time the culprit is most likely Middle Eastern and definitely Islamic.  Who else does this sort of thing?  Want to be politically correct; not here, go someplace else to get your feel good measures.  So for three days we hear how we don't know who did the bombings.  We don't know if the bombers were foreign or domestic.  How the Muslims must be feeling bad because we automatically blame them.  How we shouldn't do that because there are good Muslims out there too.  On and on about how we can't place blame because we don't know.  

I'm a conservative at heart but I do think American needs to change their emigration laws.  They need to make it easier for people who want to come here to work to do so.  I hear on talk radio how we need to strengthen our boarders.  They resent the Hispanic population that illegally cross the boarder.  How their great great great great grandparents came legally and these people need to do the same.  Their great grandparents didn't have to wait two lifetimes to get the chance; all they had to do was buy a ticket, show up, and prove or claim they had twenty-five dollars.  

This morning I wake up to the news they've killed one of the bombers and the other is on the loose.  They aren't Middle Eastern but Eastern European.  They are jihad, Islamic, just like I thought from the beginning.  And to my conservative friends, these boys were here LEGALLY for a year. 

Call it profiling if you'd like but certain groups are more likely to commit one type of crime over another.  Involve bombs, public places and random people, you've got Muslims.  Get a bomber out of profile and look at his influences and you'll find he fits the profile after all.  

Earlier a newscaster was saying the bomber who's still alive may have a safe haven somewhere.  Of course he does.  We choose like-minded people as roommates; that is the best place to start.  Question the roommates for everything they can get; names of friends and relatives, co-workers, classmates, church members.  Check out the merchants where the bombers bought their supplies.  Latest news says they were throwing explosives as they fled this morning.  Whoever sold or provided these Muslims with these bombing supplies may have some notion of where he is hiding. 

I hope they take him alive.  After that, I hope they have the kahunas to, "Make him talk".  Send him to Guantanamo Bay and keep him on suicide watch.  Keep him from perusing his so called reward of seventy virgins.  

The news casters are pussy footing again.  They're saying the ethnicity of the bomber is irreverent.  Bull', Law enforcement needs to know who to look for the next time this happens.  Yes, the next time.  As Americans we won't put our collective feet down and call a spade a spade.  It is what it is and in the case of these bombings and terrorism it's Muslims.  It is relent.  If I'm looking for my keys I don't look in the fridge; I look in places my keys may be.  It's a waste of time to search the entire American population when the likely suspect fits a certain profile. 

As I listen to the news I'm hearing comflicting reports.  Earlier reports said the boys had been here legally for a year.  Now they're saying they'd been here since childhood.  They're still saying they're Muslims.  Will that change?  Depends who talks to the reporters and tells them what the slant will be.  By the time you read this there's no telling what the official news on this situation will be.