The End of an Era

Beazle's House

yesterday I was emotional because Beazle left her home of almost forty-four years to move in with my sister. Constance and I asked Mom about moving in with one of us or moving into a retirement community after her stroke in 2010. Mom always said she wanted to stay in her own home. I think she changed her mind last May, after my oldest daughter's wedding. Mom went to visit with Constance and Maria for a week or so in Louisville, Kentucky. Constance said Mom really liked it there. After that talk about moving started.

Everybody

 

 Next Constance and Maria bought a larger place and things were set in motion for Mom's move. We had what I call our last hurrah at Mom's house.Everybody came for Thanksgiving. We all had a good time. Mom put her house on the market just after Christmas and the ball was rolling. Andrea and I came to help get the house cleared out and took better pictures for realtor.com. I won't go into all the details and frustrations of getting the house listed and re-listed, suffice it to say, there are some lazy real estate agents out there and I don't know how they survive alongside the go getters.

We all figured Mom's house would be easier to sell if it was empty so moving date was moved up. Now it has come and gone. The movers came yesterday and Mom Constance, and Maria headed out after the movers left. I was sad most of yesterday. It would have been sadder but I had some personal matters to attend to with my youngest daughter. I will post my journal entry for yesterday....

 I'm already emotional today. Later this afternoon the movers come and Mom, Constance, and Maria head for Louisville. It's hard to wrap my brain around the fact the Mom won't be "at home" in a few short hours. I'm really not ready for this.

I remember when Mom and Dad bought this house. It was brand new, in and not yet finished subdivision. I was ten years old. Mom and I went to clean the house and polish the cabinets and doors with red oil when she got off work in the evenings. It looked so big as we wandered through the empty rooms.

Then on June 15, 1971 Dad decided to surprise Mom by moving us there while she was at work. And now, it’s changing again…… 

I awoke early this morning thinking about Beazle's moving. I tried to imagine the house empty. I remembered little things that happened over the years. I couldn't imagine it empty; there would always be some item of furniture in every room. I even wondered what the house thinks being empty after all these years, does it miss us? I'm not holding up well and I wonder how Beazle is doing. She says she's not sad and Constance confirms it. I'm the only one who seems to be sad and the only one who thinks Beazle will be sad. I know when I left home or moved some place new I was excited. I was getting ready to experience something new. It was the same for Merritt and Holiday and I'm looking forward to Andrea going off to college. These are the things that should happen to young adults. They pack up a move off. They leave the articles of childhood behind at home. They may or may not come back to claim some of them.

Beazles Malibu

But with Mom it is so final. She sold or gave away a lot of her possessions. She was able to sell her car back to the dealership for a good price, surprise, surprise. 
We put piles and piles of accumulated stuff on the curb for the garbage man or passers by to pick up. It was poignant because I could remember when this stuff was new. Seeing half a lifetime disposed of in this way was so sad.

Why is this different from when a young person moves? To me a younger person is looking forward while an older person is sizing down due to real or perceived necessity. What she takes needs to fit into someone else's space. Her things will be mixed in with or separated from other peoples things. It's not a visit; she can't go back home in a week or two. I'm trying to see the similarities between a young person moving out of the house or moving to another location for personal or professional reasons and an older person moving out of their home of many years to move in with relatives or some retirement living facilities.

I tell myself it would be nice to sell this house and buy a condo. I look at that as just a lifestyle choice. But when I think of Mom giving up her house to live with my sister it makes me sad. In a condo I'll be surrounded with all my stuff that I decide to bring. I'll have the freedom from yard work and major repairs. With Mom living with Constance and Maria, she'll have some of her stuff in somebody else's house. Even though she lives there, and I'm sure she's welcome, is she truly at home? The anwser for Constance and Maria I really think is yes. To Mom, I hope the answer is yes. My emotions say no. Emotions aren't based on facts, they're just based on how I think I'd feel if I lived in somebody else's house with few of my things with me.

As for this blog, I don't know. I started it to celebrate Beazle and her awesome quirkiness. She is still awesome and quirky so I should continue. On the other hand, this is my first entry in a long time. I do enjoy writing it when I sit down to do so. I get discouraged when I see the number of "Likes" on Facebook and the number of reads. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but it's something. A Facebook friend started a page about her new business earlier this month. Basically she is announcing the upcoming launch of her business. Last time I checked she had 301 likes. My pages have been up for years and none have even a hundred likes.