Thoughts on the Oklahoma Fraternity Scandal

The fact that these fraternity members were chanting and singing about lynching "niggers" and keeping Black students out of their fraternity didn't shock me.  They thought themselves to be among like-minded compatriots; free to express themselves freely.  What did surprise me was my friends reactions.  I figured my friends would have the same outlook as I do.  My reaction was the fraternity members had been foolish in expressing themselves in such a way in a place where they couldn't see what everybody was doing.  Somebody had recorded them and sent the video to the media.  In this age of smartphones and instant internet, how could they let themselves be cought saying things like that?

Two friends I grew up with, and went to the school for the blind with had vastly different reactions than each other.  They were discussing it on Facebook along with others.  One friend is a Black man who has lived much of his adult life up north and the other a White woman who lived in the same state all her life.  My Black friend couldn't believe people still had attitudes like this toward Black people, or people of other races for that matter, in this day and age.  The idea that people with this mindset could be found in sufficient quantity to be confortable enough to express themselves seemed impossible to him.  My White friend considers this a freedom of expression issue and the students should be left alone.

For instances like this is one reason I'm not in favor of political correctness.  It glosses over and sugar coats peoples true feelings.  I believe we should know how we stand in the hearts of those we spend time, effort, and money with.  How many Black students have pledged this fraternity, gotten in, and payed dues in the past?  If they had know the true feelings of a great number of the members these students could have pledged another fraternity.  My dad used to say, "I'm not going to beg them to take my money," when an establishment wasn't up to par.  To me this sentiment goes for where I spend my time and money.  In this politically correct ere we don't know who likes us and who dispises us.  We have to pretend to be okay with issues and /or groups we disagree with.

When I'm with family and Black neighbors sometimes the conversation rolls around to things race related.  Lots of my friends, and neighbors say how White people won't let Black people get anywhere, or how they'll only let us get so far.  If somebody says he or she was treated unfairly somebody will ask if the person who did them wrong was Black or White.  If the person they think did them wrong was Black, that Black person is just trying to look good in front of White folks for some reason or is brown nosing.  If the person was White he or she is a racists.  The wrong does can't just be a terrible person or the person thought done wrong just mistaken.

If talk like this goes on in the Black community about Whites it stands to reason talk about Whites discontent about Blacks goes on to.  Talk radio is as close as I can get to it because of political correctness.  If they express their discontent or don't understand our point of view they're labeled racist.

By listening to talk radio it seems like Whites wish Blacks would stop referring to slavery.  After all slavery has been over for a hundred and fifty years.  When does it stop?  Does it matter none of the former slaves or slave owners are still alive?  Does it matter that few of us have stories of these long ago ancestors?  Slavery is part of our history and there is nothing we can do to change it now.   Because it happened is no reason to use it as a crutch for today.  My great grandmother was born in 1885 so my great great grandmother may or may not have been a slave.  I don't think she was because my great grandmother never mentioned her mother being a slave.   The Jews say, "Never forget," when it comes to the Holocaust.  Will they be told to get over it by people in 2100?  Whould they?  They shouldn't forget, neither should they use it as a crutch. 

I Black/White standards I am not prejudiced. Both my husbands were white and if I ever get another he'll most like be White too.  I grew up in both worlds so to speak and that is my choice and I make no apoligies.  But I think I am prejudiced and again I make no apologies.

Back in the 2000's when churches and such were sending things for Iraqi children I thought this was ridiculous.  Iraqi children grow into Iraqi adults.  I remember once our church was having the kids get packages ready and make homemade dolls to send to Iraqi Children.  I told them flat out the my kids wouldn't be there.     

If my daughters brought home a Muslim or Middle Easterner all hell would break loose.  I don't care if he is a medical exchange student, a nationalized citizen, or born and bred here in the USA by fourth generation American parents.  With 9-11, Isis, and the Taliban, there's no was I'd just be political correct and say people are people.  I'd fuss and fume and do everything I humanly could to break them up.  

A lady in one of the Facebook groups I belong to think education is the key to tolerance.  She thinks young children should have a class in tolerance of all kinds of different people.  Don't get me started on how much the schools expect little kids to study already.  Another subject is too much, especially a politically correct class.  I can think of several topics in such a class that would cause me to keep my kids home. 

I believe interaction brings about tolerance and understanding, not education.  Yes, you could require me to take a class to learn about all kinds of different people and lifestyles.  I could learn the material and pass the test.  Have I been enlightened?  If you ask me If I believe in gay marriage I'd say no.  In principle I'm against it.  I believe marriage should be between people of the opposite sex.  On the other hand if you ask me if somebody I know should marry another person of the same sex I'd say yes because I want them to be happy.  Did I go out of my way to eat a Chick Fil A during their bru ha ha about the owner's beliefs about gay marriage?  Yes because we all have the right to believe what we choose to believe.

As the old saying goes, "Him convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still".

The End of an Era

Beazle's House

yesterday I was emotional because Beazle left her home of almost forty-four years to move in with my sister. Constance and I asked Mom about moving in with one of us or moving into a retirement community after her stroke in 2010. Mom always said she wanted to stay in her own home. I think she changed her mind last May, after my oldest daughter's wedding. Mom went to visit with Constance and Maria for a week or so in Louisville, Kentucky. Constance said Mom really liked it there. After that talk about moving started.

Everybody

 

 Next Constance and Maria bought a larger place and things were set in motion for Mom's move. We had what I call our last hurrah at Mom's house.Everybody came for Thanksgiving. We all had a good time. Mom put her house on the market just after Christmas and the ball was rolling. Andrea and I came to help get the house cleared out and took better pictures for realtor.com. I won't go into all the details and frustrations of getting the house listed and re-listed, suffice it to say, there are some lazy real estate agents out there and I don't know how they survive alongside the go getters.

We all figured Mom's house would be easier to sell if it was empty so moving date was moved up. Now it has come and gone. The movers came yesterday and Mom Constance, and Maria headed out after the movers left. I was sad most of yesterday. It would have been sadder but I had some personal matters to attend to with my youngest daughter. I will post my journal entry for yesterday....

 I'm already emotional today. Later this afternoon the movers come and Mom, Constance, and Maria head for Louisville. It's hard to wrap my brain around the fact the Mom won't be "at home" in a few short hours. I'm really not ready for this.

I remember when Mom and Dad bought this house. It was brand new, in and not yet finished subdivision. I was ten years old. Mom and I went to clean the house and polish the cabinets and doors with red oil when she got off work in the evenings. It looked so big as we wandered through the empty rooms.

Then on June 15, 1971 Dad decided to surprise Mom by moving us there while she was at work. And now, it’s changing again…… 

I awoke early this morning thinking about Beazle's moving. I tried to imagine the house empty. I remembered little things that happened over the years. I couldn't imagine it empty; there would always be some item of furniture in every room. I even wondered what the house thinks being empty after all these years, does it miss us? I'm not holding up well and I wonder how Beazle is doing. She says she's not sad and Constance confirms it. I'm the only one who seems to be sad and the only one who thinks Beazle will be sad. I know when I left home or moved some place new I was excited. I was getting ready to experience something new. It was the same for Merritt and Holiday and I'm looking forward to Andrea going off to college. These are the things that should happen to young adults. They pack up a move off. They leave the articles of childhood behind at home. They may or may not come back to claim some of them.

Beazles Malibu

But with Mom it is so final. She sold or gave away a lot of her possessions. She was able to sell her car back to the dealership for a good price, surprise, surprise. 
We put piles and piles of accumulated stuff on the curb for the garbage man or passers by to pick up. It was poignant because I could remember when this stuff was new. Seeing half a lifetime disposed of in this way was so sad.

Why is this different from when a young person moves? To me a younger person is looking forward while an older person is sizing down due to real or perceived necessity. What she takes needs to fit into someone else's space. Her things will be mixed in with or separated from other peoples things. It's not a visit; she can't go back home in a week or two. I'm trying to see the similarities between a young person moving out of the house or moving to another location for personal or professional reasons and an older person moving out of their home of many years to move in with relatives or some retirement living facilities.

I tell myself it would be nice to sell this house and buy a condo. I look at that as just a lifestyle choice. But when I think of Mom giving up her house to live with my sister it makes me sad. In a condo I'll be surrounded with all my stuff that I decide to bring. I'll have the freedom from yard work and major repairs. With Mom living with Constance and Maria, she'll have some of her stuff in somebody else's house. Even though she lives there, and I'm sure she's welcome, is she truly at home? The anwser for Constance and Maria I really think is yes. To Mom, I hope the answer is yes. My emotions say no. Emotions aren't based on facts, they're just based on how I think I'd feel if I lived in somebody else's house with few of my things with me.

As for this blog, I don't know. I started it to celebrate Beazle and her awesome quirkiness. She is still awesome and quirky so I should continue. On the other hand, this is my first entry in a long time. I do enjoy writing it when I sit down to do so. I get discouraged when I see the number of "Likes" on Facebook and the number of reads. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but it's something. A Facebook friend started a page about her new business earlier this month. Basically she is announcing the upcoming launch of her business. Last time I checked she had 301 likes. My pages have been up for years and none have even a hundred likes.